I have been a good friend and a bad friend. I have been an enemy and a maid of honor. I know a little thing or two about what it actually takes to be a good friend and what will tank a friendship. I noticed that there are three people in the bible we can learn alot about friendship from and it just so happens that their names start with J!
oh Judas. The one that gave that fatal kiss on the cheek that led to Jesus' death on the cross! The one who had walked with Jesus for the past three years and witnessed all of His miracles and yet-- still betrayed Him. I heard a bible teacher once say that the devil works through weak and wounded people. Any person that would betray a friend like Jesus is weak and wounded. Judas teaches us that we have to be healthy and whole so that we do not end up competing, comparing and ultimately BETRAYING the friend that we love. He teaches us that our own health is an important key to healthy friendships. You have to be a confident, individual who is comfortable in their own skin! It is so important!! (Mathew 26:14-27).
King Jesus is the perfect of example how to set healthy boundaries. Jesus was comfortable taking space from His friends. He was comfortable rebuking them when they overstepped. He did not allow anyone to hold him back, slow him down, infringe on His time or get in the way of His purpose: even those closest to him. He was honest about what He wanted and expected from them and communicated that all throughout scripture. Boundaries (unlike walls) are healthy and vital to a solid friendship. A relationship without boundaries is no relationship at all. Be like Jesus and set some boundaries. (Matthew 16:23; Luke 5:16; John 7:6)
Jonathon was in the blood line to become king but God ended up appointing David. Jonathon could've been jealous bitter, insecure and even vengeful regarding the fact that David had what was rightfully His. But instead he became a loyal and devoted friend. Scripture tell us their souls were knit together and they were like brothers. Jonathon rooted for David even though He was running in the late HE wanted. He was cheering for him when He should've been competition. He loved him when most wouldn't have blamed Him for hating him. He was the friend we all wanted. (1 Samuel 18:1)
Friendships are so important. As someone who did not always value them, I can admit that I am much happier now that I have healthy friendships. When I am at my best, with healthy boundaries and remove the comparison-- my relationships flourish. It is hard work and takes a lot of self awareness but it is worth it every time.
What are your friendship tips? Comment below and let me know!