3 J's of Friendship

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3 J's of Friendship

I have been a good friend and a bad friend. I have been an enemy and a maid of honor. I know a little thing or two about what it actually takes to be a good friend and what will tank a friendship. I noticed that there are three people in the bible we can learn alot about friendship from and it just so happens that their names start with J! 


1. Judas

oh Judas. The one that gave that fatal kiss on the cheek that led to Jesus' death on the cross! The one who had walked with Jesus for the past three years and witnessed all of His miracles and yet-- still betrayed Him. I heard a bible teacher once say that the devil works through weak and wounded people. Any person that would betray a friend like Jesus is weak and wounded. Judas teaches us that we have to be healthy and whole so that we do not end up competing, comparing and ultimately BETRAYING the friend that we love. He teaches us that our own health is an important key to healthy friendships. You have to be a confident, individual who is comfortable in their own skin! It is so important!! (Mathew 26:14-27).

2. Jesus

King Jesus is the perfect of example how to set healthy boundaries. Jesus was comfortable taking  space from His friends. He was comfortable rebuking them when they overstepped. He did not allow anyone to hold him back, slow him down, infringe on His time or get in the way of His purpose: even those closest to him.  He was honest about what He wanted and expected from them and communicated that all throughout scripture. Boundaries (unlike walls) are healthy and vital to a solid friendship. A relationship without boundaries is no relationship at all. Be like Jesus and set some boundaries. (Matthew 16:23; Luke 5:16; John 7:6)

3. Jonathon

Jonathon was in the blood line to become king but God ended up appointing David. Jonathon could've been jealous bitter, insecure and even vengeful regarding the fact that David had what was rightfully His. But instead he became a loyal and devoted friend. Scripture tell us their souls were knit together and they were like brothers. Jonathon rooted for David even though He was running in the late HE wanted. He was cheering for him when He should've been competition. He loved him when most wouldn't have blamed Him for hating him. He was the friend we all wanted. (1 Samuel 18:1)

Friendships are so important. As someone who did not always value them, I can admit that I am much happier now that I have healthy friendships. When I am at my best, with healthy boundaries and remove the comparison-- my relationships flourish. It is hard work and takes a lot of self awareness but it is worth it every time.


What are your friendship tips? Comment below and let me know! 


with love,



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What My Natural Hair  Taught Me About God

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What My Natural Hair Taught Me About God

I got my last relaxer the week I graduated from college in 2012. I was ready to try something new but I didnt really know what I was getting into when I began my transition to my natural hair. But I was ready to explore the hair I had not seen since I was a child due to chemical straighteners. But as it turns out, I did not have as much time was I wanted to play with my new curly hair and resorted to regular blow outs. I have had the pleasure watching my hair grow and thicken and flourish without harsh chemicals. But as another graduation neared, I decided to skip my blow out and opt for a curly look...just for a little while.


So for the first time in almost three years…I did my own hair. I am not going to lie, feeling my own curls was more exhilarating than I expected. This hair of mine was thick and kinky and these coils were so gorgeous. I followed the instructions on my new natural hair products and was feeling pretty good with what the naturalistas call a 'wash and go'. Hair was detangled, moisturized and curls were gelled. I felt great. 


I went to sleep that night and woke up the next morning with an entire head of matted hair....This was not part of the plan you see. I instantly panicked and believed that maybe I had gotten in over my head. I didnt know what to do with all these curls that now looked like a tangled web of...webs. I wanted myself straight hair back that was easy to manage. Not this birds nest situation!!


I was close to tears..scrambling for my phone to book an appointment at my local drybar when I felt the holy spirit tell me to calm down.


umm Holy spirit? Talking to me about my hair?! And He so gently reminded me that this is often what it feels like when we start anything new. Even our walks with Jesus. At first, we feel so good. SO excited. Everything is so fresh, and nice and feels just right. But then after some time, things get messy, tangled, difficult and thats usually when we give up. 


We give up at the first sign of trouble. At the first prayer we think went unanswered. We quit when things are not as neat and pretty as we thought they would be. But sometimes things just take some getting used to. We have to WORK with what we are given. So I stood in the mirror, looking at this hair God gave me and I started to play around with it. I made a headband out of black panty hose and fluffed out my matted fro. I did a little tugging and pulling and eventually, I had a hair style I was willing to leave the house with.

It just took a little patience. It took a little work. It took some time to get used to this new me.


Whenever we are learning something new, particularly with our faith, we cannot give up when things get hard or don’t go as planned. All is never lost with Jesus. We have to keep pressing in, praying, trying and pursuing. We can’t be Christians who quit-- We have a race to run.


So I wore my hair straight for graduation but I think this summer I will play around with these curls again and explore this hair texture God thought was perfect for me. I will probably tear up again and get frustrated when it insists on doing things it's own way. I will even be tempted to give up when challenges arise. But I am going to try.  

I challenge you to try something new this summer & let God teach you something in the process. 


with love,





natural hair the faith feast

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When Growth Leads to Grieving


When Growth Leads to Grieving

It was a grief I didn’t expect to feel. I could see everything I’d worked so hard for on the horizon but excitement was far from my mind. I smiled graciously as people applauded my accomplishment and feigned delight when people expressed their praise. But on the inside I felt...nothing. Numb. 


It was all ending and truthfully I didn’t know what to feel. I had never known my God outside of this season. I had yet to experience Him from a place that wasn’t this time of brokenness, suffering, hardship and stress. 


I am graduating. And I am grieving. The last three years have held the most challenging moments in my life to date. I experienced a heart break I never thought I’d recover from. I lost countless friends. I struggled to stay focused in school as I discovered my purpose in Christ . I almost froze to death (sort of) trying to survive Chicago winters. I was homesick more often than I’d like to admit. I even lost my grandmother and walked with friends as they too lost loved ones.


 In each moment, I leaned on God. I relied on His presence. I let him wipe every tear and nourish my soul after every blow. I let Him pick up my chin when I felt like a failure and I danced with Him when I experienced moments of success.


We became close. Deeply intertwined. I wouldn’t dream of going a whole day without talking to the Father. He has been my peace in a time where serenity seemed to want to escape me.


I know the wilderness and I know the God of the wilderness. I know it better than the promise land. I met God here. And now it’s time to come out. And I’m grieving.


I didnt quite understand at first what that lack of excitement or anticipation was. But my pastor preached on grief and spoke about how every change brings a loss and every losss brings change. Everything is changing for me. And I am feeling the loss. 


I’m letting go of the me I was in this wilderness. I’m letting go of the things that characterized this hard season.  I’m leaving behind Law school and the reason I even came to this city. The chapter is closing and It’s time for this story to end. The end I’ve been praying for since it started. And it’s hard to understand why but I’m grieving it.


Not because I want to do it over because I promise I DO NOT. Once was enough. But because I don’t know what’s next. I know I’m healed and whole and better than I was when I got here. I know I’m FINALLY happy and content and internally thriving. I know what’s next is far better than what I am leaving behind. But it’s new. And new is always a little scary. 


So before I celebrate, I grieve. I grieve to acknowledge that the hard yet familiar season is over. I grieve because what’s been my entire life for three years is over. I grieve because the me I was, is gone. 


And when I’m ready, I’ll celebrate. I’ll celebrate the new me I became. The new opportunities that are presenting themselves. The Freedom, joy and explosive happiness I feel to begin again with new purpose and meaning. I’ll rejoice over The accomplishments I’ve had by the grace of God. I’ll celebrate that God is so faithful  to begin a season on time and end it on time. I’ll bask in the new thing God is doing and I’ll learn new thing about this savior of mine I’ve come to love. I’ll soak up the fruit of this season and really ENJOY IT. 


But for now, I’m grieving my wilderness. And this too, is okay. Because even hard, messy and complicated things can be hard to let go of. 


with love,





5 Questions to Ask in Your Quiet Time


5 Questions to Ask in Your Quiet Time

Instagram can often make it feel like everyone has this perfect quiet time that is so easy. I think we forget to remember sometimes that getting up early to spend time with God can be a foreign concept to some. And even challenging to the seasoned vets. But the truth is, Quiet time can look different for everyone and should. Each of us have a unique relationship with the Lord and our quiet times are a beautiful way to demonstrate that and explore it.


One thing I love to do in my quiet time is ask God questions. But here’s the thing, if you re going to ask God a question, you have to listen for His answer! Sometimes we can be so chatty that God never gets a word in. But I digress. Here are a few questions I love to ask God in my morning prayer time.


What was my dream about? 

  • God can often speak prophetically through our dreams as we see in the book of Daniel. Some dreams are warnings and some can be what the scripture refers to as night visions. Not all dreams are from God but one way I try to discern if they are is through prayer and if the dream “sticks” with me throughout the day. 


What is on the agenda for today?

  • I have had countless situations where God gave me a much needed heads up. I personally do not love surprises but I had strong feelings that I will run into people I know and usually I discerned right! Don’t be afraid to ask! Jeremiah 33:3 says that if you call to Him he will tell you the unsearchable things you do not know. Try it out!


What scripture to read today?

  • Many people love to read the bible in a year and I think that is amazing. For me personally, I have found that allowing the spirit to lead me to what is next has given me so much wisdom and insight for my season whether that be that day or that week. I have received instructions, clarity, prophetic words and more by allowing the holy spirit to direct me to a bible passage. Try it out! and if you hear wrong, try again 🙂 


What is my word for today?

  • I love how many of us choose a word for the year but recently I have tried choosing a word for the day. This is especially helpful if I just feel LOST. Today, My word was surrender. So I have been meditating all day on what it means to surrender and what God may be asking me to give up in this season. Pray and ask God what word you can focus on today?


How can I serve you today?

  • Oh to be a vessel for the Lord is one of our greatest opportunities!! We can bless people beyond our wildest dreams when we allow ourselves to be led by the spirit. I have watched people give hundreds of dollars away to a needy stranger because the Lord nudged them to. Or ask just the right question at the right time. Or change plans to be there for a friend. When we yield to the spirit and commit to serving the Lord, we have the power to change someones day…and maybe even life!.
  • Are you asking any of these questions in your quiet time?! I would love to hear from you what your quiet time looks like. Comment and let me know! 

If you would like to dive deeper into your quiet time, check out the free bible study printable I created here


What Aerial Yoga Taught Me About God


What Aerial Yoga Taught Me About God

I have been trying out Classpass for sometime now and I really like it. It seems to be the only thing that keeps me consistent with my workouts this season. I love being able to pop into different gyms and try out something new. I have been nervous to try Aerial yoga because

1. what if I fall?

2. Worse, what if I look DUMB?

But I finally bit the bullet and scheduled my first class at an aerial yoga studio here in Chicago.

My instructor was kind, soft spoken and eager to teach. I somehow managed to begin our conversation with “Am I going to fall?”. She reassured me I would be fine. Before others arrived she helped me to get familiar with the dark green silks that were tightly hinged to the ceiling. I learned how to wrap my hands around it for additional security. I could tell based on logic that it would hold my weight but I was still apprehensive. At one point she told me to move the giant green loop behind me and position it on my lower back. I followed her instructions and then she said grab on and lean back. 


ummm….come again?!


Lean back she said, you are secure. It will hold you. 


mmmm…seee….about that. I can again, logically tell that this thing is not going to break, and my wrists are secured, grip is strong but every time I try to lean back…I tense up. SO tense that I start laughing. I am like “omg haha i cant believe im so nervous haha” and she is like its okay…Just RELAX. I tried a few more times but I could not bring myself to go the whole way. I finally did and gently flipped upside down and looped my legs through the silks and hung. 


I was doing it. It was happening! I took a deep breath and felt my body stretch out and adjust. The dark green silk was carrying me. It was sturdy, strong and unwavering. I LOVED it.


You may be wondering why I am telling you this story. Heres why: I did not intend to hear God speak to me through my aerial yoga instructor or that He would reveal to me that I could trust Him through a giant green silk. But He did. She resembled the holy spirit..gently nudging me to trust that I was leaning on something that could hold me. She was consistent with her message “You can trust this” and I had to believe her in order to try. And the silks, who knew they could be so much like God?! I had to grab hold of it in order to trust it and then I just had to believe it would carry me. 


It ended up being a wonderful workout. I enjoyed feeling strong and challenging myself physically. But mostly, I enjoyed the reminder that God is strong enough to carry me and I have the freedom to lean back and trust Him. I enjoyed being reminded of how much strength I have when I cling to the one who carries me. 


God is really good. Like REALLY good. The holy spirit is leading you today to lean back and Trust God. To cling to Him so that you can grow stronger. Will you?


If you want to grow stronger in your prayer life check out BOLDER: 40 Days to a Bolder Prayer Life.